A guy and his girl just finished making love. Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks "Have you thought about any baby names?". The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says "Well propably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this"
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on lay-away.
🎶Rock a bye baby on the tree Top, when the wind blows the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, not moving a muscle not making a sound.🎶
Guys I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things. *proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board
“No I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken”.
are you a highway because i wanna lay on you
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them saying "God will surely save me."
The medical team tries to help him but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B**** I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something, not sure what she said the girl replies with "ok".
The young teen was gonna head to bed wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight she lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say "Hunny I'm home", she doesn't bother to say ok.
Later when she decides to sleep she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door that she lost her keys. :)
-Dark_Humor
Elsa got a boyfriend and the boyfriend wanted to try anal. She was too keen but she just lay back and shouted “INTO THE UNKNOWN!”
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass. Not breathing. Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone. Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs... cus there quacks too small
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom Kill confermed
What do you call 3 kids laying down in the classroom Kill streak
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A Chicken walks into a Bar.
He Orders Dr. Pepper
He then lays a good Scrambled Egg.
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the dentist they make her lay face down.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
