Worst Jokes Ever

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Lay Memes

The german guy

Haven´t posted in a few months. I will keep posting memes together with @#StayatHome every day :)

The image shows a search result saying "Oxygen was discovered about 1772" and then shows a picture of a patient with an oxygen mask, labeled "Hospitals in 1771". Next to the patient is a bag of Lay's Classic chips.

Hailey ❁

This is me.

A cartoon of Stitch is lying on a cloud pillow, drinking from a baby bottle. The text above says: "I basically have two moods, either let's do something spontaneous and awesome, or let's just lay in bed all day and forget the world exists."

Heroin Monkey

A blue bag of Lay's potato chips with the words "FENTANYL Flavored chips" printed on it. The chips inside are covered in white powder and blue pills.

MEME LORD

DAP ME UP

Rate my daily schedule

The image shows a daily schedule. It lists activities from waking up at 6 AM to going to sleep at 3 or 4 AM, including school, meals, chores, and walking the dog. It also mentions snacks, specifically "3 grilled cheeses on hamburger buns."

Chri5

Damn.

A man is smiling with the text "When the school shooter finally leaves and the hottest girl in class is laying dead on the floor" above and below the text "It's Free Real Estate".

shaylie lol

A person is lying on the floor, looking distressed. The text says, "me laying in bed at 3 am when i realize i should've said something else in an argument i had in 2011".

MEME LORD

@BreezyCarter
Hubby likes shoving soft boiled eggs
up my vagina (I can hold 3) and then I
squat down and lay the eggs like a hen
and hubby will eat them coated with my
juices →

PurplePanda

Kid !: What are you doin? Kid 2: Laying in my bed! Kid 1: Naked? Kid 2: Yes Ld 1: Show me! Kid 2: Its dark! Kid 1: Still show me! Kid 2 Ok-

A dark image with a stylized pink mask in the center. The mask has two crossed 'X's for eyes and a jagged mouth.

Wade

Attack on Deadpool

The image shows a large being looming over a burning city with Deadpool in the foreground. Deadpool exclaims: "Oh my god!... I think I left the oven on at home!". The text above says: GOOGLED "ATTACK ON DEADPOOL" and below says: WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED.

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Heroin Monkey

A meme featuring a menacing skeleton with glowing eyes next to a bag of Lay's Salt & Vinegar chips. The text reads, "The government is trying to put chips in people??? I hope I get Lay's Salt & Vinegar."

Cupツ

OOp -_- fr

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One person asks, "What are you doing?" The other replies, "Laying in bed." The first person asks, "Just laying in bed, nothing else?;)" The other replies, "I'm drinking wine." The first person asks, "What would you do if I was in bed next to you?" The other replies, "Drink my wine." The first person says, "LOL, I mean if the wine wasn't there!" The other replies, "Go buy wine."

big [fire] balls

A platypus in a box with the text: "BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it's one of the few animals that can make its own custard. AS AN ADDED BONUS HER MATE CAN POISON THE CUSTARD WITH HIS OWN VENOM."

Anonymous

A close-up of a dog lying on a bed with its head upside down. The dog is looking directly at the viewer with a slightly goofy expression, showing its teeth. The text on the image reads: "HUMAN, ARE YOU AWAKE? OK THEN, I WILL JUST LAY HERE AND LOOK AT YOU."