I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
Law Jokes
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun, now it's an assault rifle.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Abortion isn't murder, it's more like backspacing a typo.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
