Law jokes

What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One is loved.

I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.

How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?

The witnesses.

What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!

What do you call a criminal?

Disarmed and dangerous.

Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"

Do orphans love doing crime?

'Cause they want to be wanted.

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.

PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?

"Face the wall!"

I'm illegal.