Law jokes

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].

Why do orphans start fights?

Because they don't get in trouble at home.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One is loved.

I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.

How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?

The witnesses.

What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!

What do you call a criminal?

Disarmed and dangerous.

Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"

Do orphans love doing crime?

'Cause they want to be wanted.

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.

PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂