Launch jokes

Q: What does LMAO mean?

A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

When do astronauts eat?

At launch time!

Why was the astronaut washing her hands?

She was getting ready to eat launch.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.

What do babies and explosives have in common?

They both make a noise when you throw them.

What does LMAO stand for?

Launching Moms At Orphans.

Where do astronauts 👩‍🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?

In their launch box! 🚀📦😂

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!

What does LMAO mean?

Launching missiles at orphanage.

The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.

Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."