I told my wife to embrace her mistakes So she gave me a hug
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?
Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.
The boys joking be like:
One guy: "Balls!"
All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"
I put the fun in funeral.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
