10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
the joke is this website
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
why were the twin towers sad
they ordered dominos and got jets
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Your mom, bro! XD Roasted! Lmfaoooooooooo!
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?” “No” “Neither have they”
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.
Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
