Last Jokes

What were Michael Jackson's last words? Take me to the children's hospital.

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

The last time I had flying lessons I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...

What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head befor he died?

His elbow.

A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?

The Helicopter Blade

I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the latter?"

Me: Cobain! Friend: No, dude, its Kobe. Me: why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.

what’s the difference between jesus and maddie mccann one had the last supper

I remember grandpas last words “oh shit it’s in drive”

My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type... His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

I bought a white xbox to last longer and i bought a black xbox to run faster

I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma. Why is that man in a box?" and she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "WHAT KIND OF BOX DID HE LIVE IN BEFORE?! HOW IS THIS BOX BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE?! IT'S JUST A BOX!" And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

Riddles not jokes

What has 4 legs but cannot walk?

What has bark but no bite?

There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?

What has holes but can carry water?

What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?

What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?

What can you catch but not throw?

and last one

What can rule, but not command?

Tell meh the answers in the comments

like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/

1 more thing: DoN"t google it or search it up, use ur brain to answer these.

I tried to find my watch I lost last week but I didn't have the time

*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victims Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..." Me: "Honestly...Probably his ass."

For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet it is a shame he could not create a longer lasting battery.

if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"

i shouted at a kid I told him to get his parents

it was the last time I worked at an orphanage ,🤣

The last thing I said to my dog was Play dead