Last will jokes

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

What were Steven Hawking’s last words?

ERROR 101.

I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

*Windows turning off*