Last will jokes

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

*Windows turning off*

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.