Last will jokes

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

What were Steven Hawking’s last words?

ERROR 101.

I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

*Windows turning off*

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

Why can't black people have nightmares? Cause we shot the last one that had a dream.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.