Last Will Jokes

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

*Windows turning off*

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

My bro had siblings who survived they could have helped him at any moment and now we have people around with the last name Hitler.

The image is a screenshot of an online information panel about Adolf Hitler. It includes a brief biography and some personal details such as his parents and siblings.

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

Last week I went on a whale watch.

After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.

I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.

What was the last thing that went through PH's head?

Water and smoke.

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???