Last will jokes

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.

What were Steven Hawking’s last words?

ERROR 101.

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”

He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

If you take off the first and last letter of "demon," they're gonna turn emo.

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)