Last will jokes

Pole

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

Yo mama

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.

Word

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

Memes

Sex

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

Food

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

Comment

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

Jumper

What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?

Their ankles.

Butcher

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

Name

Why did Oliver have no friends?

His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.

Japan

Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?

A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

Penalty

MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢

NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝

MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔

LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿

POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅

"GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬

"I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁

Bee

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Grandpa

My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"

No witnesses.

Toe

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

Bus

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.