Last will jokes

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

Battery 1%.

I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a muscle.

Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.

Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.

I still remember my grandpa's last words.

"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?

Their ankles.

Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"

Because it doesn't matter your age.

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.

I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."