Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
Last Will Jokes
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
I still remember my grandpa's last words.
"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?
Their ankles.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
