Last will jokes

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

If I could make someone tell me their last words, they'd say, "Make me."

Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.

He swears by it, but he’s in denial.

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"

"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

What did the orphan say to his dad last?

Please get non-fat milk!

I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."

Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"