Last will jokes

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.

I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.

It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

What did the orphan say to his dad last?

Please get non-fat milk!

A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"

"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"

Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!

A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.

The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!

Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."

And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.