I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
Spell "IOUT", no space.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
Why shouldn’t you call people in china?
Because there are so many wings and wongs you might wing the wong number
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Lalicks your balls.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
What language do Asian Karen’s speak?
Demandarin.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
