No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Language Jokes
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
A single sentence walks into a bar.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows. No body, nose.
Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
Spell "IOUT", no space.
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
