Language jokes
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
Memes
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
A single sentence walks into a bar.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows. No body, nose.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
Spell "IOUT", no space.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.