Language jokes
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the rap battle?
For WORDPLAY!
What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"
What's only book rapeboat ever read? Rhyming dictionary, he got no rhymes without it.
Q: What's a conspiracy theorist's favorite letter? A: Q.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
What's the difference between a joke and three cocks? You can't take a joke.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
I am Asian.
I am so Asian my pronouns are: heeEEE/Ya.
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
When is a door not a door?
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
Assalam alaikum, bitches.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
Americans: I will cook the pizza.
Italians: I cooka de pizza!