Language jokes
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?
I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
Spell "I cup."
You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
What does the PH stand for in "orphan"?
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.
Hey dude, can you spell IHOP?
Sure, man. I. H. O. P.
Wait, you ate my pee!!!
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
Roses are red, violets are violet. I mean, come on, it's literally in the name!
Shut your goofy ahh mouth!
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
You can't spell "Funeral" without "fun."