Know jokes

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.

You know, for his sake.

Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?

They never get old.

You know why morning food digests so quickly.

Because it breaks fast.

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is. :)

Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."

You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.

"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Why can't orphans play sports?

They don't know what a home team is.

You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."