Knock jokes
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I suck.
I suck who?
Michael Jackson.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Goliath.
Goliath who?
I need to Goliath down and sleep!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ya.
Ya who?
Yahooooo!!!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nonye.
Nonye who?
Nonye buisness.