Kitchen jokes
Bitch wanna make me a sandwich?
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
Where did the cake sleep on the stove?
In a pan.
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
My dishwasher is broke.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.