Why did the tomato go red because it saw salad dressing
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass? A baby in the microwave
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie looking out of the kitchen window "I know," said her mother "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing It"s an egg joke
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser
My dishwasher is broke.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here". The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer? -- The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
