One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Yesterday I made food using oil- Olive oil (I love oil)
A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!
What did the chef on the titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes- "oh no the sink sank!"
What is the best way to end a cook book?
And that’s a wrap
My wife went to make a cake the recipe said separate two eggs so she put one egg in the living room
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned and the steaks are higher.
what sayd the man to the woman??
go to the kitchen lol
what is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen......to clean the rest of the house
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad) and to make the best salad you stab it 23 times until the CAESAR salad, Romaine Salad, is fresh.
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong. His wife was like, yo, where are your balls? The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies "i knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
i told my mum the refrigerator was running so she got dressed and ran after it...
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove
