King jokes
Why are Americans bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy? BK doesn’t sell real meat.
Once a bird went to search for food. Then suddenly he saw grain on a road. When he saw a bullock cart, he said, "That's too far away." Then the bullock immediately came, and the king bird came, and the deceitful bird said, "Sorry, Majesty, I was wrong to eat this on the road." And then he died, and the king bird goes back and tells everybody about it.
Shame on King Tut! Tsk-tsk!
Why is the UK bad at chess?
Because they have no queen.
Kingly discussion?
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the