King

King jokes

Chess

Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?

Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.

Revenge

Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!

Precipitation

What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?

Hail, of course!

What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?

Reign!

Rain

What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?

"Our souls will rain forever."

School

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.

Name

I know I've changed my name from tj to selfish king but know it's gunna be selfishking#781.

Chess

Why are Nepalese bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their king!

Chess

Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their 👑.

Hamlet

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

Dad

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

President

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

Jester

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

Chess

Why can't England play chess?

Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.