Kind jokes
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?
A: Plain.
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
Memes
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of paper likes music? Wrapping paper.
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.
You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.