What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Kind of Jokes
What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?
Cauliflower.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
What kind of mountain does everyone like?
Mountain Dew!!! Hahah.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?
Deer balls. They're under a buck.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
