Kind of jokes
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
What kind of bus is yellow? A school bus driver.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
Whatever it is, I kind of like it.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
What kind of knight puts dumb jokes on the internet?
You!
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.