Kids jokes

What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.

One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"

What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?

The feather.

The rope stopped the kid.

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.

Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"

Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.

RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)

Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......

What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.

What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?

They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂

A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.

A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.

A quiet kid brings an MP5.

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?

Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.

Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.

My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."

What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?

America's funniest home videos.

Are you an orphanage?

Why?

Because I wanna put my kids in you.

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?

What do you call a depressed group of kids?

Suicide squad.

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.

Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!