Kids jokes
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”
The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
"Rape isn't a joke unless you watch YouTube Kids."
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.