Kids jokes
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
What do you call a depressed group of kids?
Suicide squad.
"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"
"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.
What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.
"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.