Kids Jokes

What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.

Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.

I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

The image shows two panels at the top. The left panel features a white figure in a blue, snowy scene, labeled "Canadian kids wearing shorts when it's 10 °C out". The right panel shows a black figure in a red, fiery scene, labeled "Australian kids wearing jackets when it's 30 °C out." At the bottom, a stick figure with a confused expression points a finger, accompanied by the text "American kids not understanding the because they don't know what C° is."

Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.

What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

A: It left him/her/them hanging.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?

Special forces.

Btw, I'm 13.

Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.

A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”

What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.

My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...

What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.