Kids jokes

Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.

Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!

What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.

Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.

I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.

Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.

Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?

Their focus is always off.

Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

A: It left him/her/them hanging.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.

I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.

My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"

Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.

A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.

My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...