Kids jokes

What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?

Special forces.

Btw, I'm 13.

Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?

I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

What do you call a depressed group of kids?

Suicide squad.

Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.

Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."

Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.

I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

What do you call a movie with kids with cancer? ... Finding Chemo.

Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.

What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?

They made the toys.

Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

A: It left him/her/them hanging.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.