Kids jokes
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?
Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.
Stranger: Do you need a doctor?
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hangout.
I saw them hanging all day.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.