Kids jokes
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!
Day 3
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of kids.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?
A: "Those are two nice towers right there."
So I went up to a crying kid and asked, "Where's your mommy?"
God, I love working at an orphanage.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.