Kids jokes
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
this is me
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What do you call a kid hanging? An emo kid!
What do you call Autistic kids baking?
"Downies" with brownies.
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.