Kids jokes

A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

“It’s because God made you special,” she said.

“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”

What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?

They both hang from trees.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...

Man, I love working at an orphanage.

What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?

A 9mm.

Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.

A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."

A starving homeless kid asks me for food.

I said, "sorry, my plate is full."

Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?

Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?

Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5

Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”

What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”

What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.