Kids jokes
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...
Man, I love working at an orphanage.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5