Kids jokes
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white kid?
Two wongs don't make a white.
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.