Kids jokes
What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?
Kids play with both of them.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white kid?
Two wongs don't make a white.
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents were...
Man, I love working at an orphanage.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?