Kids jokes
How do you think they found out cows produce milk?
Two kids having fun in the barn.
Why do some kids have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Answer: Special forces.
Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?
Because she loved raisin' kids!
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed, "Rocket League!"
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball. The orphans can’t find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.