Kids jokes

Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

I can smell your kids!

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.

Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

Can emo kids get a happy birthday?

Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.

"Rape isn't a joke unless you watch YouTube Kids."

When you're watching a 9/11 documentary, that one kid in your class finds the 97th Jenga block and knocks it down.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀

My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake).

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They put a plunger in the toilet.

Q: How many kids did Helen Keller have? A: None, the plunger went all the way up.