Kids jokes

What is a fun game for an emo kid?

Tug-o-war with a tree.

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

Why does a kid in a wheelchair get bullied? Because he can’t stand up for himself.

My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

Bully: *Bullies kid*

Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*

Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD

Orphan: :/

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Just kidding!

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.

Kid: Dad, where do you work?

Dad: I.C.U.P.

Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.

Get off of here, kids!