Kids jokes
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
Memes
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
Why didnβt the grape π leave her family?
Because she loved raisin' kids!
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair and screamed, "Rocket League!"
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
Orphans and Chinese people canβt play baseball. The orphans canβt find home, and the Chinese kid will eat the bat.
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."