Kids jokes
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
I gave the blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
ssssssssssss
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.