Kids jokes
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
What game do emo kids hate the most?
Life.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?
Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
What is an emo kid's favorite Tool? A rope.
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when kids get it.
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.