Kids jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.

None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo kid.

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

What do emo kids and apples have in common?

They both hang off trees.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎

Have you met Bofa?

Bofa deez blind kids!

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.