Kids jokes
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
I told an emo kid that we were going to hang (hangout), but they took it too literal.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Where's is the candy, sir???
Over there.
(kid steps in van)
I don't see any candy.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
How does an emo kid compliment one another?
Like your cuts, G.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see their parents.
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.