Kids jokes
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?
Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids drowning.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?
The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"There's a great singer inside of you."
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."