Kids jokes

What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.

A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

Kid me: I lost my stick.

Teacher: No, you didn’t.

Kid me: How do you know that?

Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.

Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

It was the Happy Meal.

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

I have been charged, because I roasted a kid at a barbeque.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

Except it had no home button.

Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?

Snoopy Dog.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.