Kids jokes
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.