Kids jokes

Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.

Why do emo kids hate high fives?

They’re always left hanging.

What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?

Target practice.

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?

"Are you ready kids?"

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.

(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)

If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.

Why did the disabled kid cross the road?

(Why?)

He can't.

Kid: Which were me, are your parents?

Orphan: What are parents?

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.