Kids jokes

Kid: I have the corona virus!

Nurse: Here is an ice pack.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.

The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"

Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?

He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.

Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?

Dumb kid: The W???

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

A: Special forces.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.