Kids jokes
I got detention yesterday because I called the group of emo kids the suicide squad.
What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Memes
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-