Kids jokes

Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

Kid: I want to be Batman.

Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.

Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?

Dumb kid: The W???

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

A: Special forces.

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?

The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.

Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"