Kids jokes

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭

What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

I got detention yesterday because I called the group of emo kids the suicide squad.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?

The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.