Kids jokes

Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wrongs don’t make a white.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

What was the African kid with water called...? The lucky one. 😭😭

When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?

I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."

Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?

The tree leaves them hanging.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

I got detention yesterday because I called the group of emo kids the suicide squad.

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.