Kids jokes
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs? Names......
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...