Kids jokes

A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.

The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.

What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?

An earthquake.

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?

They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"

What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?

The Las Vegas shooting.

A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.

Why?

The kid had no legs.

When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.

This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.

He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”

Kid: I have the corona virus!

Nurse: Here is an ice pack.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.

The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"

Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?

He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"

Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wrongs don’t make a white.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?

“Here comes the airplane!”

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.