Kids jokes

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"

What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?

An orphan.

What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.

What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?

"U Can't Touch Kids."

If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?

Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!

Mom: Exactly.

A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"

The woman replies, "No, why?"

The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."

Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?

After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.

Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

Why can't two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.

Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."

What's the difference between drugs and kids?

I don't sell drugs.

I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"