Kids jokes

Insult

    • Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.

    Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.

    Kid 1: Aw, thanks!

    Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10

    Kid

    • Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

    I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

    Butt

    • Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.

    Kidnapping

    • I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

  • 6
    • Kids memes

    Ex

    • You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

    Then I start to think I was the problem :(

    Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

  • 4

    • Man

    • What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

    Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

    Mum

    • Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

    Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

    Kid

    • I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

    He never came back the next day, says the local news.

    Plane

    • Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

    Someone turned off flight mode.

    (Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."