Kids jokes
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
What do 2 emo kids say to each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
*Slaps wrist*
Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favourite vegetable?
A: The special ed. kid down the street.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?
Hopscotch.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"