Kids jokes
What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?
Because he’s disabled.
What is yellow and brings kids to school every day?
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:me😐
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.