Kids jokes

What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?

Are you ready, kids?🤣

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"

The emo kid tried to high five the tree.

But the tree left him hanging.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.

What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.

What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?

A bath bomb.

When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."

I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.

Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?

Because she loves raisin kids.

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."