Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Kids Jokes
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
