"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Kids Jokes
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?
Bored games.
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”
The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
Is it just me, or do you kids have imaginations?
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?
Because he’s disabled.
