Kid jokes
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common? A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.
Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.