Kid jokes

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

RIP Meh Soul.

What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?

"Daddy?"

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

What did an Arab say to feed his kid?

'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.

BUT!!!!!!

I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"

Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."

African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*

The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found

What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"

When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.