Kid jokes
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?
TIMMAHHHH!
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
☠️☠️
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
Yo mamma is so ugly, she made blind kids cry.
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.