Kid jokes

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?

A: He saw the ornaments hanging.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.

What do you call a committee of emo kids?

A cutting board!

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"

The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?

To tie his kangaroo down, sport!

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

Why did the emo kid get mad?

I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.

I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.

What touches kids and is made out of plastic?

Michael Jackson, hee hee!

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.

The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"