Kid jokes

We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"

The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."

Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?

To tie his kangaroo down, sport!

What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.

Why did the emo kid get mad?

I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.

What touches kids and is made out of plastic?

Michael Jackson, hee hee!

I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.

The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!

When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!

Later!

When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.