Kid jokes

A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"

The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."

Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?

A: He saw the ornaments hanging.

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

Me: How does this thing work?

ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

What are Emo kids good at... hanging around?

Why did the emo kid get mad?

I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.

What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have a touchy feeling for kids.

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.

What touches kids and is made out of plastic?

Michael Jackson, hee hee!

The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!

When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!

Later!

When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.