One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, “Why are you beating him up?” I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, “Well, how did I do?”

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

Do you know why I hate pedophiles?

They are fucking immature kids!

An american is touring the Soviet union. A russian takes him to a school so he can see what its like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The american asks whats wrong and he cries “I want to live in the Soviet Union!”

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding feminists can’t change anything

I told a Seal a joke it went like “Why did the kid cross the playground” he said “why?” I said “To get to the other slide” and then he said “thats the sealiest thing Ive ever heard”

when your wife gets pregnet and you dont want a kid just come on down to momma mias pizzareia and abortion clinic!

What did the kids say hi to? A slide

I did a walk today and had fun today I did not have to go get my kids and get my new house 🏠 was good today I had fun I did a walk today I had fun today but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car 🚘 was your night time is what time did

kid just becomes an orphan, well i guess its better than being a hobo.

i heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your pringles

Teacher: What month is it? Quiet kid: AUG-ust Classroom: visible concern

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay kid’s house. Knock knock. Who’s there? The chicken

Hi oooo was the day I was a kid I was going home to school today after dinner 🍽

What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today

Why doe my kids die

Stinky Oussy :D

Kid:I want to be batman Ok when he gets home his parents are dead

Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

My friends mother thought a kid who had autism and downsyndrome. He called him a “double down”

A kid came from school. His mother said “What did you do in school?” The boy replied “I had sex with my my Teacher” She said “OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!” He waited, then his dad walked in and said “Your mother told me what you did. I’m proud of you son. Let’s go buy you a bicycle.” When they arrived to the store The dad said " Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said “I can’t, my butt is sore” Dad said “Why is your butt sore” The Boy said “Because I had sex with my teacher”.