Kid jokes
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
What is a fun game for an emo kid?
Tug-o-war with a tree.
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"