the fat kid asked the teacher “is godzilla real” the teacher said “they’re standing right infront of me”

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!” Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?” Source:

some kids at school made fun of me for playing halo, so i gave them a halo

Once there was a kid named Cale. But his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a C so they asked him if he could be there snack

What flowers are on your face

How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently not 27 Bc my basements still dark…

Do you know why I hate pedophiles?

They are fucking immature kids!

A white dad,a priest and a rhabi all run out a burning school and the dad says “what about the kids” and the rhabi reply’s to him saying “fuck the kids” and the priest says “think we got enough time”

What is the differences between a preschool and a pedophile’s basement? Little kids leave preschool.

It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises. I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs so I don’t know why they do it

Q: How do Chinese people name their kids.

A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a dance party.

What do you get when you have a annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

So in class they were learning about where food comes from: Teacher- so kids where does bacon come from? Student- PIGS Teacher- correct where does mutton come from? Student- SHEEP teacher- and finally here’s your homework- student- IK where that comes from! A FAT COW! 😂😂

I’m telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution

Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.

when your sitting in class and the quiet kid yells lovely day isnt it … and u see a Glock shape in his pocket

Why wouldn’t Mrs Grapes 🍇 leave her children behind?

Because she loves raisin kids.

Steven hawking walks into a bar… no I’m just kidding.

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”