Keep Jokes

101 pedo jokes whys everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, its called women taking advantage, youl shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who dont admit there like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why dont you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, ive been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, i know whats going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jelous coz your drink tastes like shit?, is it coz your shit though?, how many bids have you done?, shit 1million views, dont try bribe me, did the police give me snip?, hows my barbie doll or shall i say my little pony? the police beat fuck outta me, whats all these needle marks on my arm, i can tell you want something, whys everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web,

keep it going on lol

Your friend took a shower and used Pantene but i got a watermelon to keep me clean

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.

What keeps you breathing when your on earth?

I don't know I suffocated at birth

What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in? Vat-I-Cans !!!

Do you know where time is? because it keeps flying by.

How do you keep a mute women you've raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes but they all just crash and burn.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?" The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom. Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket int the toilet."

Girls are like blackjack you shoot for 21 but I keep hitting 14

they struggled to lift the whaghts but i got watermelon to keep me in shape

Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!!

One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

We almost dawned when we went out boating but I got a watermelon to keep me flooding

Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?

Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?

He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?

So I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier the look on her face or that the abortion clinic let me keep her

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?