Joke jokes

What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.

What do you call a ghost's fart?

A spirit bomb.

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.

Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.

Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.

Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.

When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."

I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.

Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?

A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.

One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

1 like = 1 more child in my basement.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he's dead.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?

One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...

What's black and white and red all over?

A massacre at a funeral.

These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.

I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.

I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...

All I got was "error 404 page not found."

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?

A Kinder Surprise egg.

What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?

The feather.

The rope stopped the kid.

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?

Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.

Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.