Joke

Joke jokes

Girlfriend

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

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  • Sex Offender

    What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?

    Rrrrrapeit!

    Mama

    Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?

    A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.

    Fish

    One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

    The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"

    Memes

    Kid

    What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?

    The feather.

    The rope stopped the kid.

    Virgin

    The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

    Woman

    A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.

    At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."

    Difference

    What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?

    Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.

    Baby

    What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?

    I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

    Blind Person

    So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

    When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

    Milk

    What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?

    Throwing the cow across the lake.

    Snake

    Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

    Basketball

    How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.

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