Joke jokes
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
iNKSTECHSHUB Joke asshole
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?
A: A knife has a point.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...