Joke jokes
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.
1 like = 1 more child in my basement.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.