Joke Jokes

What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?

Rrrrrapeit!

1 like = 1 more child in my basement.

Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?

A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.

One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"

The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he's dead.

Found a good definition of the jokes here while listening to Without Me by Eminem

A dictionary definition of the word "obscene" is shown. The text of the definition reads "obscene | adjective (of the portrayal or description of sexual matters) offensive or disgusting by accepted standards of morality and decency: obscene jokes | obscene literature. - offensive to moral principles; repugnant: using animals' skins for fur coats is obscene. ORIGIN late 16th century: from French obscène or Latin obscaenus 'ill-omened or abominable'."

What's black and white and red all over?

A massacre at a funeral.

What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?

The feather.

The rope stopped the kid.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?

A Kinder Surprise egg.

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!

Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.

A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.

At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?

Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.

You know what’s impossible?

Steven Walking.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why did the pedophile cross the road?

To get to the other preschool.

So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?

Throwing the cow across the lake.

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"