Joke jokes
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotopuss
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.